It's become abundantly clear to me lately that I live in every man's nightmare. You know the one where the girlfriend says "Honey, tell me the truth, do these pants make me look fat?" And any good, well trained boyfriend knows that this is a trap. Say yes, we'll get mad, and you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. Say no, we will totally know that you're lying to us, we'll get mad, and you'll be sleeping on the couch. This scenario never ends well for the boyfriend.
Well, this is my life. I am both cursed and blessed to be a great listener as well as an opinionated, I cannot tell a lie, truth giver of the largest proportions. Blame in on being raised by a feisty mother and a father who gracefully allows me to call him on all his bullshit, and sometimes even enjoys getting caught "spinning" as my family so delightfully calls it. Spend 10 minutes with me and I'm going to offer you a no holds barred, honest to goodness opinion on whatever comes out of your mouth. You want to know if those pants make you look fat? Stick with me, I'll tell you, without a flicker of guilt or remorse, that they do. You want to be like my father, who complained for a month straight about how badly his back hurt (after playing 36 holes of golf each weekend)? Then I'm going to listen and sympathize for the first few days, then I'm going to tell you to shut the hell up, stop complaining, and go see a doctor (Hey Dad, surgery could have been A LOT sooner if you'd listened to me in the first place). Worried that your boyfriend/husband/significant others sense of humor is too blunt and crude? I'll tell you I find it funny and that other people need to accept it for what it is and stop taking themselves so seriously.
This is me. I make zero apologies for it. I make a deliberate attempt to never, ever be malicious, cruel, or unnecessarily mean, and believe it or not, there are many times when I actually do hold my tongue. But, I will not cater to or feed your drama, nor will I tell you what I think you want to hear. If you're going to come to me and have a conversation where I could potentially have an opinion on it (and this covers just about everything since, trust me, I have an opinion on just about everything) then you need to be prepared to hear the truth as I see it. And truthfully, I don't understand why this is a problem. Would you rather I talked to our good friend Sally behind your back about how those skinny jeans seem to be having an adverse effect on your thighs? Prrrrobably not. I have absolutely not artifice. I would make a terrible poker player. I have an awful poker face and I will probably never say something behind your back that I wouldn't say to your face.
There's a very good chance that this little quirk of mine has cost me "friends" and you know what, in the long run that's ok with me. I treat others as I wish to be treated. There is NO WAY IN HELL that I would want to go out in public in a pair of pants that make my butt look as wide as a tractor trailer. I may pout a bit when you tell me, "Yeah Jen, you ARE kind of being a bitch right now" (yes those words have come out of many a friends mouths), but I absolutely do want to know when I appear to be stepping outside the lines of being polite. Tell me I'm being dramatic, tell me your opinion, tell me THE GOD DAMN TRUTH.
Accept the fact that the reality of how you see things may not mesh with the reality of how I see it. This is life people, a respectful difference of opinions and conversation is what makes things interesting. Accept that we may not agree, accept that each and every event in life is not black and white, and move the hell on. But then again....this is just my opinion....
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